Last.

I am having suicidal thoughts.

A while ago, I was contemplating to put the insect killer on my drink and then I cried. I mean, I'm so scared of what my mind is telling me and I'm scared that I may be bold enough to act on it. I feel like I am the only one left to deal with all these.

I know that I did this. This is my fault... I made them angry but I am still her child, aren't I? Sabi niya ako raw talaga ang nagpapahamak sa kanya. Simula bata pa ako, ako na ang laging nagpapahamak sa kanya. Well, okay. Is that the reason why she's doing this to me? I wish I was never born... siguro mas magiging masaya siya kasi mawawala na ako.

I really think I should act... I really feel that this is the only way that I'll get through this. I want to end this suffering, I want to end their suffering.

Ang gusto ko, makalimutan na niya lahat ng sakit na ibinigay ko sa kanya... ang gusto ko mawala na lang ako sa aalala niya.

Mukhang mas maganda nga 'yun. Mukhang mas okay 'yun.

Good bye.